Reached From Above

Once in a while, I get the feeling that God is trying to reach me. I believe myself to be a spiritual man, but not a devout follower of Christianity, which I am probably most leaned towards. Now when I say "reach" I don't mean that Jesus came to me in the form of Fruit Loops during breakfast, its a much subtler form of communication. This is why it is so easy for me to over look when he is trying to reach me.

Take for example a situation last year, I had this feeling that God did not want me to buy Madden 06 for my Play Station. I forget how He tried to influence me, but nonetheless I had something inside of me telling me that I should not buy the game because it would result in disaster. I fought my intense "want" to buy the game for a couple of weeks, but I eventually gave in and bought it. I remember the feeling I had checking out from Sears, "I'm going to be smited for this, oh man, something bad is going to happen".

Well, nothing happened. I played season after season on franchise mode. I even created back stories to some of the made up players in the game during my Math Models class. I almost failed that class, so maybe there was an Earthly price to disobeying what God had in mind for me. However, other than that I had a magnificent year. From time to time, my decision would eat at me because I thought that God would no longer try to reach out to me.

This year I don't even have a game counsel in my dorm. Its not that I don't want to play video games, it just that some-how I don't have one. I think it was God's way of forcing his will upon me after disobeying him the first time. I can not possibly ignore him if their aren't any obstacles. Sometimes I feel that there isn't any quiet. I'm always in class, talking to friends, or listening to music. Even now I'm typing while listening to "Background" by Third Eye Blind. I need that quiet to concentrate on my spirituality and bring inner peace, but usually the only time I have absolute quiet is at night and by then I'm too tired and my prayers are disoriented and messy.

Today God tried reaching me again. This time it was through the music on my computer. I only have one Christian band on my Windows Media player, a band called Jars of Clay. As one who hates worship and most mixing of religion and music, I have come to respect what this band has put out because I feel they are honest in their song writing and don't aim to please believers with flowery bull-shit. Their song "Liquid" played back to back in different versions on my computer, the odds that out of 2,521 songs these two songs played made me believe that God was reaching out once more. I have a poppy version from their self-titled album and I have a stripped down version from one of their mix albums. Its a very intense look at the crucifixion of Christ. I know you're thinking "There's a pop version of this song?", yes there is, but I prefer the later version because it forces you to take the words to heart and question the validity of Jesus and the cross.

Unlike the example I gave about the video game, I wasn't given a concrete demand when I listened to the songs play. I think it was more like "Keep your eyes open for future events", maybe somethings on the way or maybe it was just a crazy coincidence.

Well my eyes are open now, and hopefully I can come through on this one.

"Liquid" by Jars of Clay

Arms nailed down,are you telling me something?

Eyes turned out,are you looking for someone?

This is the one thing,The one thing that I know.

Blood-stained brow,are you dying for nothing?

Flesh and blood,is it so elemental?

This is the one thing,The one thing that I know.

Blood-stained brow,He wasn't broken for nothing.

Arms nailed down,He didn't die for nothing.

This is the one thing,The one thing that I know.