OCTOBER AT IU

As a student I'm one dimensional. I can write a paper like it's no body's business, but that's about it. My study habits are lacking, and when it comes to math and science I'm pretty much worthless. Its worked for me so far, now that I'm a Junior. Several months from now I will retire from studying and move on to the work force. No more research, no more memorizing. Well I hope anyway.

"The Bends" by Radiohead is one of the definitive albums of the 90's. My theory is no matter what your favorite band list is, if you add Radio Head in somewhere people will say "hey, you have good taste".

I got my history paper back today. One of the few A's in the class. My TA jotted down that my intro was "beautiful" and that all she could say was that it "was an excellent paper". She even took the effort to whisper "great job" as she was handing them back. I take a lot of pride in my writing, so when I read these comments I was very pleased.However, I was not surprised by the positive markings on my paper. During the peer edits, I noticed some really horrible papers. So I didn't do much on my revision. I'm not a strong editor, but I tried to give those who I graded helpful advice to improve their papers

My mom and sister came to visit yesterday afternoon. Its been a while since I've seen them. Dad was down here a couple weeks ago doing work in Martinsville. It was really nice to see them in good spirits, given the present condition of my uncle Mark who has cancer.

We went out to eat at Steak n Shake and I ordered a double chocolate shake that was simply amazing. Laura, my sister, kept talking about her boyfriend Mitch. "I'm not going to call him today or tomorrow," she declared.We tried to see a movie, but nothing was showing at 3:00 in the afternoon. Instead we went grocery shopping and I stocked up on Ram eon noddles and Mountain Dew.

Back at the apartment they both noticed a smell coming from my kitchen. Of course I didn't notice it, but it turned out to be the garbage. Mom quickly took it out to the dumpster and I finished unloading the groceries. I played some guitar while Laura took advantage of my high speed Internet. She said she really missed hearing me play at home. Its odd when you miss small things like that.The only contraband I had in my room was a bottle of Capt Morgan, which I hid in the morning while I was getting ready for class. That reminds me, its still sitting in the shoe box in my closet.

By the time they left my apartment was spotless, it looked and smelled a lot better. I'm planning on coming home this weekend to see my Uncle in Chicago, it's not looking real good. Its possible that he might have AIDS as well.I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, but I get kind of stressed being at home during the school year because my parents are full of advice, and suggestions.

Anxiety Cut

I just finished my second week in Math M025 and I'm already severely behind. Every night I spend two or three hours attempting the online assignments, and I am yet to get a grade better than 70%. Not to mention the time I spent studying for Wednesday's quiz and the tutoring session I attended. Its frustrating to put this kind of effort into a class and still end up lagging behind.

By Tuesday I had just about had it, I was in a negative mood because of this darn class that I'm not really sure I have to take (A counselor just threw a bunch of classes together for me on orientation and said "here you go"). I left the school parking lot that day feeling stressed out and extremely frustrated. All I wanted to do was go back to the apartment and detox, but I was in bad need of a haircut. So first I treated myself to a stuffed burrito from taco bell and then I got my hair cut.

My stylist, barber, whatever you call this profession, started talking about her coworker who just found out she was pregnant. As usual I just sat back and listened to her conversation among the other employees. She was kind enough to include me in the discussion as well, but I really had nothing to say on the subject. However, this interaction put my mind at ease and suddenly I was not as anxious as I had been when I walked in. I forget her name, but our conversation was just the medicine I needed. She said that her drivers license needed renewed and she was thinking about making a face for her photo. I told her, that I too would be needing to renew my license. She told me to come back and we could compare photos.

From that day on, I've been in a pretty good mood. It was just a simple conversation, but it made quite an impact on me. M025 didn't get any easier, I even cursed out my computer monitor a couple of times, but besides that everything was bliss.
Stay positive, because you're energy is bound to effect someone else.

Fun With Vocabulary

Jo took the last swig of her apple jack and bashed it over Sarah's head. The two were feuding over the divinity of Jesus Christ, Sarah is an evangelist while Jo is a socinian. They came to an impasse when Sarah stated "You can't believe in the bible and not in Jesus, it's just nuts,". Sarah was knocked out cold, and some guy who called himself Freddie took advantage of her right there on the bar floor. Some might have called Jo's actions dirty pool, but to her this was an act of jihad. All this sudden action caused Jo to undergo an emesis. "Damn Apple Jack," she cried as she ran out of the bar. Jo felt like a butte with her obscure religious views. However, she believed that she knew better than all the American evangelicals and tagged a ride on a lime juicer headed back to England. Sure she would have to endure a lot of sea men on her way to the mother country, but at least she would no longer be persecuted for her faith.

Vocab

Dirty Pool: Underhanded or unsportsman-like

Impasse: An impassable road

Socinian: An adherent of 16Th and 17Th century theological movement professing belief in God and adherence to Christian scriptures, but denying the divinity of Christ.

Apple Jack: brandy distilled from hard cider

Butte: an isolated hill

Lime Juicer: British sailor or ship

Emesis: An act of vomiting

Cooper Vs. Eagle

There's an eagle sitting on a branch of a pine tree right out side my office this afternoon. I was informed of his presence shortly after coming back from lunch(I used a coupon that Grandma B had given me for a free roast beef at Arby's).

Its just sitting there calmly, swaying in the breeze. From inside, I took a picture with my cell phone. I got so close to it, if it weren't for the glass I think that it might have come at me and pecked my face off. I've never been so intimidated and awed by a bird before.

I sent my sister the photo in a text message. Its a low quality photo, but it'll get the job done.

I then remembered a debate I had earlier with her over whether or not a hawk could swoop up our useless shiatsu Cooper. Often I find him wondering alone in the middle of a field, and think to my self, "he's easy pick'n". Cooper is the most defenseless dog I've ever met, I can't even get him to bite. So if an eagle like the one outside were to attack, there would be nothing for him to do.

Maybe its my fault as his master for not training him to defend himself. However, Cooper has one thing going for him. He's fat. That extra weight will make it harder for predators to lift him off the ground. Also, the excess blubber will protect his internal organs from being punctured by the eagle's talons.

Thankfully Cooper is safe inside the house right now.

Fun With Vocabulary

Nancy’s arms dangled out of the yoke she was wearing across her neck. “Mistrial”, she cried, this was her favorite weasel word. She had been sentenced to five years in prison for the theft and consumption of Mrs. Abernathy’s delicious Yorkshire pudding.
Nancy was able to get a toehold during the trial, when she stated that she was a vegetarian, and would never eat something drenched in meat drippings. Mrs. Abernathy admitted that she had put extra meat sauce into the batter, but stated that this only made her pudding even more irresistible, even for a “heathen tree-hugger” such as Nancy. Adding, “My Yorkshire pudding is impalpable, it’s like eating God!”

Definitions:

Yoke: A wooden bar to join together two animals, such as oxen; or to help carry water pales from a well.

Weasel word: word used to evade of retreat from a direct statement or position.

Yorkshire pudding: batter consisting of eggs, flour and milk, baked in meat drippings.

Toehold: place of support for the toes; a means of progressing.

Impalpable: incapable of being felt by touch; not readily discerned by the mind.

McGrubber

On Monday I started thinking about those McGrubber skits on SNL. In case you haven’t seen them, they are 5-minute parodies of the MacGyver TV series. Will Forte plays McGrubber, and every scenario involves a ticking time bomb set for a little under a minute. During that time, McGrubber makes his doomed companions fix him drinks and pick up dog doo-doo, in what they think will help him shut off the bomb. Instead, McGrubber gets drunk or plays the guitar, and then they all blow up. But the best part of the skit is the opening theme song. It’s really corny and the lyrics always foreshadow what that week’s skit will be about.

Anyway, I was sitting in my cubicle and started thinking about McGrubber. I let out a chuckle, and tried to muffle it so the others around me couldn’t hear me and criticize me for being unproductive. This led me to writing my own lyrics for McGrubber, based somewhat on my life.

McGrubber

He’s not working in an office
Like some-kind of Yes-man

McGrubber

He’s got tactical experience
And he’s going to blow your head off

McGrubber

Summer Creativity

I am interning this summer. It’s interesting, I guess, but I get really bored sometimes. My productivity has nosed dived the past couple weeks, and more and more I look for mindless escapes in the middle of the day. It’s during these escapes that I am most creative. I channel the energy I am supposed to use for work, and use it to write character bios, or read the dictionary.

Anyway, I’ve created some neat stuff recently and want to share it online. So for the remainder of the summer I will be filling my blog with random tidbits that help me pass the time.

"Welcome, Gonzo! Smart, fast, tough receiver -- OSU's best!! Peyton is going to find you early and often, and this will let Dallas go back to receiving from the TE. It will be an even more exciting offense."

With the last pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, my beloved Colts once again went offense by selecting slot receiver Anthony Gonzalez. The Colts desperately need to fill in the gaps left on the defensive side of the ball after loosing both starting corner backs, pro bowl linebacker Cato June, and tackle Monte Reagor. Personally I felt linebacker was the way to go, but apparently our offense isn't dominant enough.

However, the reaction I have gathered from other fans has been quite positive. Apparently we got a good value with Gonzalez, who didn't play much at Ohio State until his senior year. In 2006 he caught for over 700 yards and scored 8 touchdowns. He's been said to be a great posses ion receiver, who's able to take the hits that come with running slants as a slot receiver. After loosing our #3 receiver Brandon Stockley to the Saints, Gonzalez is a practical pick. Manning's numbers went down last year because he really only had two receivers; Harrison and Wayne, and TE Dallas Clark had to fill in for Stockley at slot when he was injured.

Still, a slot receiver is not as important as a starting corner back or linebacker. With the 10th pick in the second round they acquired OT Tony Ugoh, another unneeded piece to the roster. The Colts already have an established line, which still has a few seasons left and remain fairly healthy throughout the season. I really don't understand this pick.

I'm a little worried right now, seeing that the Colts seem perfectly fine not replacing needed gaps in the defense. However, the Colts are notorious second day scrappers as evident in last year's 6th round pick of Antoine Bethea who became starting safety midway through the season.

To my relief the Colts used their two picks in the third round to grab a corner and a defensive tackle. Two positions that really need to be filled. Now all we need is a solid linebacker.

"I am glad the ACLU is tackling the "In God We Trust" license plate issue. After all, people would freak out if I wanted a plate that said, "In Allah We Trust" or "In The Goddess We Trust.""

Let me just say the ACLU is a tremendously important organization. It levels the playing field, and makes sure that George Bush and Gerry Falwell don't push their agendas too far. However, they are nit picky sons of bitches. Anything and everything will piss them off, and then they scream and throw a tantrum. I really want to support them, but they're freakin nut jobs.

The latest hoopla is over a policy in Indiana that allows drivers to opt for "In God We Trust" license plates for no additional fee. Why they're free, I don't know. Maybe Indianapolis's over populated prisons had something to do with the over produced plates.

For years we Hoosiers have had to put up with hideous license plates. They're aqua and green, depicting Indiana corn, but based on the color scheme they look more like seaweed. So its seaweed or a slightly more attractive IGWT plate. I would pick the later any day, it just looks better and I'm not an atheist anyway.

Really that's the only group of people who should be pissed about the IGWT plates, Atheists, who make up just about one percent of the population. The ACLU may seem God-less at times, but rest assured most of them pray to some God at night (the union was established by Jews). "God" is not distinct to one religion, in fact he or she is a part of pretty much all of them.

Stop being bureaucratic pricks, and work on bigger issues like the federal funding of religious groups. Most of the time I support the ACLU, but some times it seems they're out to get everyone. They've become too powerful, and I don't think they serve as the true voice of Americans.

"To all those who have ever made a disparaging remark about a person based on gender or race: You're fired! Looks like everybody stays home today!"

This week's top story; "Don Imus is a racist". In one weeks time we saw Imus make a statement on-air that was both racist and sexist, get suspended for that statement, the organization of protests calling for Imus's firing, an attempt to reconcile by appearing on Al Sharpton's radio show, and finally the firing of Don Imus by NBC and CBS. A week like that deserves a long night at the bar.

By no means do I take lightly what Imus said on his daily talk show, but it leaves me wondering "Who the hell is (or was) Don Imus, and why should I be offended by something he said on his radio show of which I am not a listener?". Following his comment and the media circus following it, Don Imus is now a household name despite years of hosting a nationally syndicated radio show. I guess one could say he's going out on top, but talk about shit hitting the fan.

But what has really disgusted me throughout this event has been the waiting line of those claiming to be victims. One member of the Rutger's basketball team used the term "hurt". A community of victims was formed, and they were fighting for nothing. Their goal was met; fire Don Imus. But they pushed on, they went for pity. Don Imus became the face of racism, when in fact racism rarely pokes its head in public. Instead it finds its way between conversations between members of the same race. Through jokes, and internal prejudices that every American struggles to keep to themselves. We are all bad people, maybe not as bad a Imus, but most of us don't have access to a microphone and a radio tower. We all have perceptions of other races and associate different traits to each of them based on personal experience.

Don Imus is a dinosaur from a time when it was more appropriate to display crude observations about minorities and women. The times have changed, and so has the standard of what's socially acceptable. Racism is far from dead. The firing of Imus only took away a microphone.